Monday, April 23, 2018

Diary 001


There is a voice inside telling me to leave
It started as a whisper
Bubbling beneath the surface
Hushed, at first, by the sweet comfort of home, of welcoming faces and the safety of familiarity
But now that voice is screaming
It is fuelled by wanderlust, I admit
This voice is not new
The voice has always been inside
It can be appeased by trips away
But it will always return
Louder and fiercer than ever

I am roaring fields and far away city lights
I am where I come from and where I want to go

The snow came
And, as only it can, brought a purity to the earth
Swaddling everything in a blanket of white
We were forced to be still
To watch it fall and settle gently

There is a certain peace that can only be felt when it snows
The earth seems pure
The world quietens
A cloak of white that covers everything in it's path
Making life feel less muddled, simpler

Writing is how I process 
It's how I sift through the struggles and accomplishments in life 
I throw words on to a page, step back from them, and view everything with a clearer perspective 
The image of earth from a tiny spaceship window - small and simple 
That is what writing does for me 

But lately, life has been spinning on 
Faster and more furiously than it has in a long time 
And I don't have time for the words
Writers block is part of the process 
Or so we're told 
But what about when life muffles creativity? 
When days turn into weeks and months, without a moment to pause
Without a moment to step back and see what's happening 
To give overwhelming feelings of fear, excitement, frustration, and joy their fair dues

Life speeds up and sometimes you will spend so much of your energy trying to catch up with it that creativity is squashed
That's ok
That's exciting 
That's terrifying 
That's life

Life will find a steady pace again 
Or perhaps I will just have to speed up permanently 
Either way, I will find my way back to writing regularly 
But for now
I am taking comfort in small moments 
Sitting on the bus and looking out the window 
Making dinner with friends 
Cradling a cup of tea 

I have spent the last few months stubbornly working towards a goal 
And the realisation of that dream will mean my world flipping upside down 
It's already started and I find myself on the other side of the world 
Surrounded by old and new 
Comfort and unknown 
Love and skepticism 
Fear and elation

This is where I am meant to be now
Of that, I am certain


No comments

Post a Comment

© Blushing Shadows. All rights reserved.
Designer Blogger Template by pipdig