Thursday, July 12, 2018

Diary 002


The beginning of May brought with it a welcome stillness
Tasks that a month before had been daunting
Now contained a comforting sense of repetition.
Not mundane but a new normal had been established.
As ever, the peace didn't last long,
The last weeks of May spun by in a whirlwind of graduations, birthday parties, apartment hunting, and see you soon's.
A bustling home that was temporarily filled with five, quickly became two,
A transition I admittedly had dreaded, but adapted to with surprising ease.
Chaos left my life again, just as quickly as it had entered
And May ended as it began, rhythmically quiet.


The steadiness of May was needed to prepare me for the overwhelming bustle that arrived with June,
A month that would prove to be full of movement, both physical and emotional.
A new home, new travels, new adjustments to make
The changes in my life playing out in a painfully parallel way to those I read about daily in the news.
Those on the cusp of a life like mine, those with dreams similar to mine, those with fears far more prevalent than mine.
Every joy or challenge that I was given in June, was tethered to the thought of their horrendous circumstance.

How could I sit on a subway cart,
My mouth closed shut like the hearts of so many around me,
Knowing that should I speak up, the words and their meaning would be muffled by my brogue.
A clear pronunciation of my place amongst the 'others', giving away my ability to hide.
Yet, how could I be afraid to use my voice, when those with far more to fear are going unheard.
Why should I, at 23, be allowed to reunite with my family,
To be comforted by their familiarity and love - while children are ripped from their mothers arms.
Why should I, an immigrant, bright eyed and hopeful, be allowed to fulfil the dreams I chase - while others run from terror only to be met by something equally as harrowing.

A friend once told me, as I fought with a similar helplessness against the awfulness of this world,
To look for those helping.
That in every scene of hardship or disaster, there will always be someone willing to offer compassion or aid.
He was right, and it remains a constant source of solace when humanity seems ugly.
And so, as my own voice grows braver,
I will continue to focus on those who act with benevolence.

Awareness can often lead to consumption
However, remaining within our own lives,
Appreciating the wonders of what this world can offer just as much as the atrocities it can inflict
Is necessary for anyone who hopes to see goodness.
I will always battle the heavy clouds of negativity that can so easily loom when reading the news,
But June taught me the importance of seeing past those clouds, even momentarily.
To enjoy my sister's laugh, admire the view of a new countryside from a train's window,
To continue wandering and wondering.
To regain energy through positivity,
So that I can help those who need it, when they need it.


1 comment

  1. Love this post. Glad I found your blog.


© Blushing Shadows. All rights reserved.
Designer Blogger Template by pipdig